


Our culture can treat a loss like it's a win

by Crab_Lad



Series: Crab's need for clone wars content [12]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Clones deserve rights, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hugs, I didnt beta this so i hope theres no mistakes, Obi-Wan loves his men, Suicidal Thoughts, Umbara (Star Wars), Umbara is an evil place, but doesnt follow through with it!, no beta we die like men, no edit, this is probably trash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:09:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23607334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crab_Lad/pseuds/Crab_Lad
Summary: When the news came, he took it numbly.
Relationships: Boil & CC-2224 | Cody, Boil & Waxer (Star Wars), Boil (Star Wars) & Obi-Wan Kenobi
Series: Crab's need for clone wars content [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1662106
Comments: 8
Kudos: 158





	Our culture can treat a loss like it's a win

**Author's Note:**

> yeah so im on a pain train with gen pairings i GUESS
> 
> title from neon gravestones by twenty one pilots

When the news came, he took it numbly. CT-2937 accepted the news, but Boil was miles away, locked deep inside. Robotically, his body left the bridge, relying on muscle memory alone to get back to his barracks. Alone. Not to the mess hall where the _vode_ had pushed aside tables and replaced them with a pile of mattresses, blankets, pillows. Not where the _vode would be together._

Βοil fell into his bunk, mind blank and hands shaking. Mechanically, he stripped off his armour, neatly stacking it to the side. 

Waxer was gone.

Something sharp and broken tore at his chest, eyes burning, burning, but holding back. The world without his best friend, in that moment, seemed too much. It took everything in him to resist the urge to grab his blaster and end it all there. To march on with Waxer sooner rather than later. But what would Waxer say if he saw him? If he knew? His friend would've been disappointed. He- he couldn't. Even if that seemed the best idea, the best way to make the pain end before he could fully process it. 

The door slid open with a soft woosh, causing him to startle up.

"General Kenobi! Sir," Boil greeted, sloppily saluting through the wall of tears. No. He wouldn't. "How can I help you, sir."

Something white and gold hovered on the edge of General Kenobi's shoulders, and for one foolish moment he let himself hope. Hope that his General had managed to bring back his best friend. That Waxer hadn't died, that he really was alive and would be back to joke-

Cody moved before Boil realized what was happening, and two pairs of arms curled around him, tucking him close. He collapsed, legs giving out as he tumbled to the floor. The other two only followed him down, situating so they were on either side of him. A deep, rumbling, voice murmuring reassurances in Mando'a while his _jetti_ ran nimble fingers through his hair. He couldn't breathe, hiccuping sobs leaving his chest. His lungs felt as though they were burning, cleansing, clearing of everything he'd been trying to keep in. The reality hadn't fully taken hold till then.

_Waxer was gone._

No more calls with Numa between all three of them. There would be no more of Waxer's awful puns, of his stupid face when he thought he did something funny. No more nights where Boil could be himself, talk, laugh, joke, ponder, think, hope with Waxer. Waxer had been his _ori'vod,_ his closest brother. His best friend, his platonic soulmate if there ever was such a thing. 

But now he was gone. 

And Boil was left. 

"You're not alone," Kenobi broke in, softly, brushing Boil's hair back a bit, "you are never alone." 

Cody had his forehead pressed against Boil's shoulder, a broken mantra of " _Ni ceta,_ " streaming from the usually put together clone. 

It should have been him. He should have gone, should have taken Waxer's place. Anything else. Not this, never this. Waxer killed at the hands of another _vod_ because of a corrupt Jedi. The Jedi they were created to serve and protect. 

"It's not _fair!"_ He cried, walls fully broken down. He had nothing left to keep, nothing left to hide. 

Kenobi tugged him closer. Boil fell into Kenobi's arms and clutched onto them tightly, painfully. "It's not," Kenobi responded, "It's not fair. None of this is. I wish, oh _Force_ how I wish I could do better by all of you. I wish I could bring him back, I wish I had seen the signs and never sent him out. _Ni ceta._ "

The future seemed bleak, devoid of any hope of anything being better. Of anything seeming normal. Nothing would ever be normal, not without Waxer. 

"You're not alone," Obi-Wan reaffirmed, voice steady and determined.

Boil lost track of how long they sat there, all three intertwined. But when he woke, in between his _jetti_ and his _vod_ , he knew that whatever came next would be a struggle. But he would continue to fight, to not let Waxer's death be in vain.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr at CrabLad!


End file.
